Today Hartlepool, tomorrow the Wetherby Bypass

I will be studying an amazing new subject this term, Magic and Marxism - towards a new synthesis: Marxism as an alternative therapy in a postmodern world. I have done quite a lot of pre-term reading on the theoretical basis of this, and I won't be surprised to see it adopted as policy by the Central Committee. It draws the analogy between Marxism and homeopathic medicines - as you dilute the active ingredients, their effects are greatly enhanced. The results in Hartlepool might look like defeat to the politically naive, but the scarcity of votes indicates a total victory over the fascist bourgeois Zionist scum of Bliar and the fox-fucking party.

As the comrade notes in his comment on the post below, the revolution is a matter of weeks away.

Students of the World unite! You have nothing to lose but your grants!

STALINIST PIGS

This is bollocks, obviously

Under John Rees the Socialist Workers Party is relentlessly being refashioned into a vehicle to promote left populism. But many SWP members are unhappy and a few seem to be actively contemplating rebellion.

Externally, the Rees regime means crass electoralism - “a popular, radical alternative to neoliberalism and war”, in his words (Socialist Worker September 19). Fearing anything that might bring temporary unpopularity, the SWP has retreated from taking a definite principled stand on issues as diverse as a workers’ representative receiving a worker’s wage, opposition to all immigration controls, republicanism and supporting abortion rights. Lowest common denominator unity and making it as councillors and MPs is all that counts...

Some leading SWPers fear that comrade Rees in particular has ‘gone native’ in Respect - we have even been told that Rob Hoveman is amongst them. Reportedly he wants to quit as Respect organiser (permission was denied). Certainly the way John Rees and Lindsey German excitedly contrast the ‘new’ coalition to the ‘boring’ old left is being used as prima facia evidence of an opportunist metamorphosis.

It is easy to see why. For example, in the September 18 issue of Socialist Worker, comrade Rees says: “Respect has always done best … when it organises in ways that the traditional left has not.” He goes on to cite some examples: In Hartlepool, Respect football supporters are apparently “organising to hold up ‘Vote John Bloom’ placards at the match”. In Islington, “Respect is sponsoring a showing of Ken Loach’s Navigators” and in Birmingham, the local Respect organised a “Picnic for Peace in a local park”, with stalls, a barbecue and “inflatable castle”. In the same vein, the comrade lauds the experience of “the Italian left”, with its “long tradition of street festivals and cultural activities” which “Respect should replicate in this country”...

Again, this is nonsense. Cultural activities and political meetings should not be counterposed. They can and ought to complement each other. But serious political meetings should come first. Without them Respect’s membership cannot learn from each other, cannot think critically and cannot even begin to challenge the leadership. Clearly what the Rees-German partnership intend. Politics is to be for them and their chosen circle alone. They will flatter, bargain with, and manage the celebrities: George Galloway, Yvonne Ridley, Ken Loach, Mark Serwotka, etc. Meanwhile the rank and file is expected to get on with the donkey work of dishing out leaflets, raising the money and canvassing. Their reward for all the hard work is effectively to be a version of bread and circuses ... picnics and peace festivals.

The SWP once boasted of 10,000 members and Socialist Worker sales of 30,000. Very unlikely, even in the mid-1970s. Our estimate for dues-paying membership today would be around 2,000. But in terms of active members it surely cannot be more than a 1,000. A figure given credence by Respect’s own claim that it has notched up 3,500 paper members. Weekly Shirker Number 545

Lying bastard filthy scum Stalinist pig-dogs (except for Uncle George of course). Lindsey's fuckin' spitting! She's been in the phone booth on the Kilburn High Road screaming at people all afternoon.

This guy really bugs me

That fucker Benjamin follows me around like a fucking lost puppy. He's always trying to get me over to his place for tea and chips. He has a huge collection of mouldy old chip-wrappers, and he writes the place and date of purchase on them - I've never been anywhere with such a powerful smell of vinegar. And the smell coming from the chips was quite bad as well.

But anyway, The Revolution is not for the faint of heart. There will come a day when men and women of action will need iron will and steely resolve. When the useful idiots are no longer useful we will give them over to the jihadists. No hard feelings though Benjamin. Nice cup of tea and the saucer was pretty. I'm bringing Lyndsey next time as well. She can talk to your imaginary girlfriend while we sort out the deviationists.

STALINISTS ARE BAD

Except for George of course, coz he's just like an uncle to me. And Joe, his books are sort of cool. And Vyshinsky because he knew how to shoot people like mad dogs. And Beria who knew how to root out bourgeois deviationists. And Molotov who could mix really neat cocktails - I'll have a White Russian thanks Molly.

CHANNEL 4 ENDORSES ISLAMOPHOBIA!

I notice that certain misguided radicals are praising the Zionist “comedian” Sasha Baron Cohen for making fun of Americans in his latest programme, The Borat Show. This is dangerously naive. Like Baron Cohen’s previous creation, Ali G, Borat functions to convey an essentially anti-Islamic and therefore racist and anti-socialist message. Every time he mocks anti-Semites he implicitly endorses Sharon’s genocidal plans for the Occupied Territories, and also absolves Americans of their guilt for worldwide imperialist atrocities by making it permissible to find them amusing rather than frightening. There can be no excuse for this and I am fucking annoyed at Channel 4, the TV station of the anti-war movement, for showing such propaganda on behalf of the liberal racist agenda.

PAY ATTENTION TO ME

I hope you’ve all been enjoying my long posts about liberalism at my other blog. Cutting and pasting large chunks of my term papers takes a lot less time than cutting and pasting articles from the Socialist Worker. It also gives the Central Committee the useful impression that I’ve read a few books that aren’t on the party’s reading list. (They don’t need to know that I’ve just copied out the bits my philosophy tutor recommended to the class.) Perhaps now they’ll start taking me as seriously as I take myself? After all, I have been in the party for more than six months, so I am a veteran member, and being a student surely makes me an ideal spokesperson for the comrades. Just how many more times do I have to blog about the “success of the anti-war movement” before they give me my own column in the Socialist Review?

TEST

Vomit!